halloween
Halloween's great. It's the only time in your adult life that you can dress up as a wolfman and not get accused of being sexually deviant.
For women at halloween, there's not really a lot of choice when it comes to costumes. Basically, your choice comes down to sexy vampire, sexy witch, and sexy nurse.
Which is so incredibly sexist...to men. What if I wanted to be a sexy vampire? No shop in the land is going to offer me a reasonably priced cape and codpiece combo.
If you don't know, a codpiece is basically a bit of leather that goes over the crotch of your trousers, and accentuates your genitals. Sure, you could probably just stuff your pants with tissue, but maybe you prefer to compensate in a more medieval flavour. But that's another weird thing. I've never seen any store sell a codpiece. I think it would be fair to say that it's a bit of a niche item. You know, you're never going to see a mainstream shop sell a branded tackle enhancer.
Buy the Topshop todger tote!
The Debenhams dick duffel!
The Sainsbury's schlong satchel.
All the cool kids are wearing them!
This isn't just a codpiece...this is an M&S codpiece.
I do most of my shopping online nowadays. Ebay's a goldmine. But something I hate is the terminology that gets used on there. If you get the highest bid, you don't buy the item, you WIN it. Yaaay! Woo! You win, now give me your money! Yaaay, I've got your money! Don't you feel like a winner?
If you see this, you've read to the bottom.
Well done, this is your reward.
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