Sex Olympics

Sex Games.

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Title Card Graphic:"Anglican Television Network - ATN".

Scene 1 - Interior - TV Studio.
Daisy Hawthorne is seated behind a desk, shuffling papers. She is dressed smartly in a businesslike manner. As the scene begins she pretends to read something off of the papers, then looks up at the autocue to deliver her lines.

DAISY: Good afternoon. This is ATN and I'm Daisy Hawthorne, bringing you up-to-date coverage of the latest news. The biggest sporting event of the year is now well into it's second day, and already, Britain has started to bring home the gold. Our sports correspondent Mike West is here with former athlete Adonis Clarke to bring us up to speed. Mike?

Cut to:

Interior - Different section of TV studio.

Mike West & Adonis Clarke are seated next to each other at the sports desk. As well as papers, it has minature sports parapharnalia on it. Mike West is dressed soberly, a veteran reporter who seems uncomfortable with his partner. Adonis is dressed in ironic T-shirt and blazer, with a basball cap or visor. He is chewing gum.

MIKE: Thanks Daisy. Well, I know it's a little premature, but the 69th Sexual Olympiad may already be Britain's Games. Today was the men's events, and the first victory was the Penile Decathalon, wasn't it?

ADONIS: Sure was. the decathalon is always a close contest and this was no different. the eventual winner, Marivn Hayes, won by the skin of his *pauses, masticating* ...teeth.

MIKE: *Laughs nervously* I believe we can now go live to Mr. hayes, who is reading a statement.

Cut to:

Exterior - Pavement. MARVIN HAYES standing in front of a group of people, reading a statement.

MARVIN: ...And I'd like to thank my mum and dad, and my dog, and of course my three beautiful coaches Belle, Clarisse and Lexus. It wasn't at all easy getting here and I think it's a testament to the great British qualities of honour, vigour, sportsmanship, and of course , the sin of lust. *Hurriedly* Oh, and I'd also like to thank my sponsors the KY jelly compan- (CUT OFF)

Return to MIKE & ADONIS in the studio.